Over the past 3 weeks I have had multiple prolifers contact me and ask for help with this topic. It’s clear we are all under attack and we need to be encouraging one another to continue fighting for the unborn.
Here’s my take on how to handle prochoice backlash of 2 types, public and private.
How do you continue to post prolife messages when all they seem to produce are negative responses?
How do you engage in a conversation with a pro-abort with out being rude but also with out being trampled on?
How do you dispute the false claims with out coming off as defensive?
My mom told me something countless times growing up and it never really made sense until I utilized this knowledge in prolife debate, but Momma said “it’s not what you say. It’s how you say it.”
Aahhhaaa! There’s the secret!
It’s not what we say that gets us in trouble. It’s how we say it.
If you’re a sidewalk counselor who is shouting “you’re murdering your baby! Learn about adoption you evil whore”
(yes, some people use this tactic to try and stop abortions)
you are far less likely to get that woman to stop and talk to you than if you were to say something like,
“you don’t have to go through with terminating your baby, can I just share some other options with you”
Yes that’s a drastic example but accurate still.
More realistically for us who aren’t screaming curses at women walking into clinics, we just simply need to add a kind word in our conversations.
Rather than jumping right into the logic and stats, starting our soapbox speeches with a simple “I’m so sorry that you’re in this situation, however,” can make a world of difference.
We make the same point we just make it with a kind tone and not a harsh or judgmental one.
Big tip: never use curse words! They don’t help make your point and it looks like we have nothing of value to say so we just curse instead. Don’t curse in reference to your prolife work! No no no!
This technique doesn’t always work but it’s a good way to keep yourself in check.
For the most part people will leave you alone if they see all your posts are written with kind words and feelings. People can’t really bash someone who is always saying nice things.
If you get continued harassment even when you know you’re doing everything possible to diffuse the anger they are showing, I go by the 3 strike rule.
I try and kindly end the conversation 3 times. Either by saying “okay, have a blessed day” or “sorry you feel that way! Good bye” or even a “please refrain from contacting me further” usually getting more serious with each attempt. If I nicely try 3 times and they are still being mean, I simply block them, say a prayer for them while I do so, and then move on. I don’t dwell on it, some people just want to fight.
This is my advice for handling public backlash on public feeds.
Boy oh boy this sucks.
How sad that close friends and family will actually excommunicate someone for being prolife. It happens all the time.
Whether it’s expected or not it hurts.
There isn’t really any way to avoid it, people who know us feel like they have the right to correct, or “educate” us as I’ve been told.
I have never sent a private message to a friend or family member who I knew was prochoice bashing them for their beliefs or putting them down. Never ever.
I have on the other hand received multiple private messages from people attacking me for posting prolife things on my public wall.
It’s a form of hyper hypocrisy like I’ve never seen. People will actually tell us we are being judgmental and hateful as they send us an email that is judging us and hating us for what we do.
It makes no sense but it happens.
Unfortunately there is no way to diffuse that situation. If someone in your life is viciously attacking you for your convictions, get that person out of your life right now!!!!
Let them unfriend you. Let them leave you off of the Christmas card list. You honestly don’t need to put yourself in a position to be continually hurt and stepped on.
Just walk away.
Walk away and pray! That’s all you can do, further engagement adds further wounds.
Let them think how they want to and just pray that one day you get that call or email that says “you were right”.
When this happens, do not fear loneliness.
For every person who leaves you for speaking truth, there is someone ready to embrace you for doing so.
Instead of engaging in painful fights that leave entire families in shambles, stop talking to the attacker and call a fellow prolife friend, vent to them, it’s a safer and wiser option!
We’re a tight community who has each others back, embrace that, you will be stronger for it!
That’s my advice for private backlash.
Hope this helps in some small way!
I want to encourage all of you to keep up the good work! It is hard, we are under attack, but we aren’t nearly as under attack as the unborn are so do not be discouraged!
Good will triumph in the end!
Here are a few verses and quotes to keep you inspired in the fight for life!