I realize I am putting myself at major risk for backlash and judgement by sharing this information but enough is enough.
I cannot sit by silently while people including those who claim to be “prolife” are using the victims of sexual assault as pawns to push their abortion agenda.
The “hard cases” make up 1% of all abortions provided in the U.S.
The “hard cases” include those conceived in rape and incest.
How many times have you heard or have you yourself said “I am against abortion except in the cases of rape”?
Even the “prolife” bills we are trying to pass have the rape exception leaving those conceived in violence to take the fall for their parents crimes.
The common prochoice argument is that by forcing a woman to carry a rape conceived child to term you would be delaying her relief of the trauma.
The argument is that this rape victim will be forced to continue to think of her attack for another 9 months until she can deliver, give her baby up for adoption, and THEN start to move on. If we allow this woman to abort the child inside her, she won’t have that traumatic experience with her as long.
Don’t force more trauma on the victim! Let her abort and be done with it, don’t force her to carry her attack in her womb. And if she is a young victim, don’t you dare force her to carry a child she has no idea what she is doing by choosing life for a rape baby.
That’s the prochoice argument. It might seem valid at first, but I am finally ready to shut this argument down right now.
“It takes one to know one, you can’t talk unless you’ve walked in my shoes…How could you possibly understand what it feels like to try and move past an attack? You have no right to speak of this issue. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
These are lines people will give when I try and shut down the rape debate as invalid and misunderstood….
well enough is enough.
I never wanted to share this story but if my experience saves even one victim of rape from becoming a victim of abortion, than I have no regrets on coming forward.
Here’s why I ABSOLUTELY have the right and the knowledge to talk about the 1% of hard cases.
At the age of just almost 17, on a night I thought I was going to watch movies with 5-6 friends, I became a victim of rape.
I never saw it coming and I never did anything about it.
Honestly, I don’t remember a lot, just key points like a hand gripping my lower calf muscle so hard I thought it would draw blood. Or an angry voice saying “you’re the hardest person to have sex with” and of course I was thinking, “well ya because I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t want to be doing it so of course I’m no good at it!”
What a jerk. Anyways….
All I could do was think “just be over already” and I counted to 28 (my birthday) in my head over and over and over until he was finished with me. I never thought I’d actually be a victim of rape but I guess I thought if I ever were than
#1 I would fight like hell: I didn’t.
I was paralyzed in fear.
#2 I would get away as soon as I could and never look back: I didn’t,
I drove him the 3 miles to his buddies house after because he told me to. And if I knew one thing, it was that if this guy wanted me to do something I was going to do it whether I wanted to or not. Talk about an awkward car ride.
And #3 I would definitely report it to my parents and the cops: I didn’t.
I was embarrassed and disgusted with myself for letting this happen to me. I felt like it was my fault for putting myself in a situation where this sort of thing could happen. And I didn’t think anyone would believe me.
When all was said and done I went to a friends house cried for a few minutes but didn’t talk about it, took a shot of Jack Daniels and drove myself home.
Yup go ahead and add underage drinking and driving to list of my awesomeness that night.
I didn’t talk about it again until years later. It took a long time before I felt whole again or like I am not to blame. It took even longer to forgive the man who attacked me and I still have bad moments, but mostly now when I think of him I wonder if he feels bad or regrets it. I wonder if he has grown and gone through his own forgiveness? I hope so, as much as he hurt me, I don’t want the mistake he made that night to define his life anymore than it defines mine. I don’t know who he is so I can’t tell him but if I ever could I would let him know that I don’t judge him as a person based on his actions that night, maybe he was in a bad place and is better now? I don’t know, but I think about it from time to time, and I pray for him when I do. I hope he has changed and healed. I really do.
I didn’t tell my parents until after I was with my husband, I didn’t tell my sister until last year, I didn’t tell my big brother until a few weeks ago when I decided to write this story.
So why am I telling you all of this now?
Because I DO KNOW what I’m talking about.
I DO understand what trauma from sexual abuse feels like and I can 100% promise the trauma these victims feel is not from the pregnancy it is from the rape.
I did not get pregnant from my attack.
And guess what, 9 months, 12 months, 18 months, heck 45 months later I was still carrying my trauma inside of me.
It is not the baby- it is the attack!!!
Aborting a baby will not make the rape disappear. You will NEVER get to undo what that man did to you, neither will I, and it sucks!!!
But as much as it sucks adding to such a traumatic event with even more physical and emotional trauma is not the answer.
That 14 year old girl who is raped and pregnant does NOT need an abortionist forcing her into stirrups and using cold steel tools to reach inside her tiny body to force out an unborn baby before sending her on her way like nothing happened.
That is only adding trauma to trauma.
Victims of rape need to be treated with the upmost level of compassion, there is nothing compassionate about performing a 20 minute abortion and then sending her to the billing counter.
Now she not only has to deal with the emotions from her attack (which she will still have even if you abort her baby) but she also has to deal with the emotions of getting an abortion.
And we know that women who get abortions are 6 times more likely to take their own life. Just imagine adding that on top of a recent sexual attack. These women who are told that abortion is the best and easiest answer are at a dramatically increased risk for mental breakdowns and yes even suicide.
So the innocent baby dies, the innocent woman is deeply scared from her attack and her abortion but the rapist is off footloose and fancy free. We aren’t helping anyone with this system here people.
And that is just focusing mainly on the woman. Let’s look at the actual children conceived in rape.
Are they not just as human?
Do they not deserve a chance to live?
Can a rape baby not grow up into a positive productive member of society?
We are punishing the children for the sins of the father. That’s like putting someone in jail because their dad drove drunk but he isn’t around right now, so the cops will just take you in his place. That child did nothing wrong.
Why do we even call them “rape babies”? They didn’t rape anybody ever.
They are just babies!!!
No “R” word necessary.
If people stopped referring to these babies as rape babies maybe people would stop treating them like the rapist?
There is SOOOOO much more that goes along with being a victim of rape than just saying to abort or not.
Like I said, I didn’t get pregnant but I still have questions of “what if” because now that I am dealing with infertility I have literally thought on multiple occasions, a “rape baby” would be better than no baby at all. The emotions and thoughts that come from an attack are deep rooted and will never fully disappear. We will always have that in our history book. But it doesn’t need to define us.
I know plenty of women who carried delivered and kept their children and said that their “rape baby” is the only thing that made them survive such a terrible situation. For many the “rape baby” made a horrifying night result in a terrific life. I’m not sayin it’s a walk in the park, but we all have hard times, it’s what we do with them and make of them that matter. A woman can conceive in rape and have that horrible night turn into a horrible clinic appointment followed by a lifetime of guilt and wondering, or they can take that horrible night and use the life it created to see the beauty in a dark situation. That child could bless an infertile family, or you could end up loving them so much you want to raise them as a single mom. I’ve seen it! And it’s beautiful!
Mad respect to those mothers!!!
I didn’t get pregnant but I can guarantee I would not have aborted if I did.
Not because I’m prolife, but because the last thing I needed was some stranger down there poking me with cold tools for a quick paycheck. No way Jose.
We shouldn’t be rushing rape victims into the procedure room we should be rushing them into loving arms of supportive and caring people.
Basically the point of all of this is to say-
Yes, I in fact DO know what I’m saying and don’t you dare tell me I don’t have a right to speak about the issue surrounding sexual assault. I have every right. And now you all know why I say the things I do about the 1% and their mothers. So I will not tolerate anyone questioning me on this issue again, I think I have more right to speak on cases of sexual assault than most of if not all of the people questioning my knowledge.
Enough of the “don’t force continued trauma” line…our trauma continues baby or no baby. You’re not undoing the rape your killing a baby.
Stop calling innocent children “rape babies” they didn’t do anything to deserve that awful title. Quit calling them that!!!! Just STOP!!! They are just babies!! Innocent little babies!
The PROLIFE community needs to actually be prolife and defend the 1% as much as we do the 99%. We need to stop even attempting to pass bills with rape exceptions. We are buying the lives of the unborn with the lives of the other unborn. We are trading these “rape babies” in exchange for a bill being passed. Let us stop abortion after 20 weeks on the 99% of babies who feel pain, and we will let you continue to murder the “rape babies” who feel pain just as much as the others.
WHAT THE HELL IS OUR PROBLEM?!
Get it together prolifers!!!!! These are not prolife bills! Prolife means no exception and rape is the worst exception you could make.
Every time you use the 1% to buy the safety of the 99% you use women like me and our pain. Every time we hear there is an exception for rape we remember that we were raped, every time you call a baby a rape baby you remind us that is what our baby was or would have been considered.
People do not actually care about the victims of rape when it comes to the abortion debate. If they did, they would never use them, use me, as an example or as a pawn to get what they want.
I can’t tell you how many times people have told me we need to have exceptions in the cases of rape and now I can finally respond publicly and say that is the biggest line of crap I have ever heard and now you all know that I am completely justified in saying so because yes, unfortunately I DO know.
Every time you talk about victims of the “R” word, you are talking about me.
STOP USING VICTIMS OF RAPE AS PAWNS IN THE ABORTION INDUSTRY GAME!!!! STOP USING MY TRAUMA TO SERVE AS AN AVENUE FOR YOUR SIN.
NO MORE EXCEPTIONS.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!
“See that you don’t look down on one of these little ones, because I tell you that in heaven their angels continually view the face of My Father in heaven.