There is nobody who can testify to the horrors of abortion the way a post abortive woman can.
The experiences they’ve had and the pain they’ve felt prove abortion isn’t solving any problems but creating new and deeper ones.
There have been studies proving that post abortive women regret their decision more often than not, but I’m the sort of person who needs to prove things for myself. I found 11 post abortive women to answer questions to give me some insight to the thoughts and feelings of the post abortive woman.
Some of what I’ve learned is below and while I’m not surprised I am shocked at how truly world shattering abortion is. Not just for the child who suffers death but on some level for all involved.
Of the 11 participants the youngest was just 15. Everyone of the women who took my survey was 24 or younger at the time of her abortion. Definitely the target group for abortion clinics as we know.
I found it sad that most of the women said they felt pressure from a boyfriend or parent. Only 4 out of the 11 said it was something they decided alone. This proved to me that as partners and parents we need to step up and support women in unexpected pregnancies rather than pressure them into terminating the life of their child. We as Prolifers need to provide partners and parents with the resources and education they need to be supportive to the expectant mother in their life.
Something that made me more angry than anything else I read was that only one out of eleven women were given alternative options. Yes, 1 out of 11 women. No pre-abortion counseling, no offers for prenatal care and parenting classes, no information on adoption, not for 10 out of 11 women. There is really no choice involved when they only give you one option.
One question I was concerned about reading answers to was if these women had suffered any physical or emotional issues during or after their abortion. My concern proved valid as over half the women had physical issues, some excruciating pain during the abortion, some had bleeding and pain for days after. 3 of the women had struggles with infertility later in life, a common issue for post abortive women. As suspected nearly all of the survey takers reported emotional issues during or after their abortion. One woman’s response that stood out to me was that she still had a hard time when she heard a vacuum cleaner. That was so heartbreaking to read and really gave me a new level of compassion for the trauma post abortive women live through. It is important to note of the 11 women every single one said they regretted their abortion. The regret alone has to weigh on their emotions as regret always does.
I did see a light in the darkness by asking if any women had sought post abortive counseling from a private counselor or organization. 9 out of the 11 said yes. Rachel’s Vineyard and Silent No More were among the top organizations mentioned for post abortive counseling and healing. I’ve been happily recommending both organizations for a while now and I’m so glad to know the impact they are making in the post abortive community is sticking! I hope the prolife community can rally around these organizations and others like them to increase their reach to more women in need of healing and hope after abortion.
With the issue coming up so often in the prolife community I wanted to throw in the question of “how do you feel when people say post abortive women are murderers?” I know I often hear we are not to call post abortive women murderers or say they murdered their child so I was curious what these women thought. Much to my surprise 10 out of the 11 didn’t object. The general consensus was that it stung and wasn’t a joy to hear but the reality is they did take part in killing their child and must live with the consequences regardless of how much it stings. This is not to encourage people to go around calling post abortive women murderers. Please don’t do that. But it is good to know that in an open and honest conversation we can both admit that yes, these women did sadly help end their child’s life.
One short coming of my own I’ll own to here is I’m still less sympathetic to repeat aborters than I’d like to be. I feel I’ve grown in my understanding for post abortive women through this project but this is an area I still struggle with. Two of my survey takers had more than one abortion and while I can understand being tricked into it once I’m still figuring out how you can fall for the lie twice or even a third time. Please forgive me as I mean no offense but I’m stuck in the fool me once fool me twice thought process at this point. I know that those who get more than one abortion must have even more guilt and pain so my heart does break for them I just don’t understand how women let themselves fall victim to abortion more than once. I’m hoping and praying I get an eye opening experience to show me what I’m missing here because words just aren’t doing it for now.
I was surprised to find that only one of my survey takers got their abortion at a Planned Parenthood clinic. The other ten were at private clinics. This tells me we are not doing a good job of spreading the prolife attention on more than just PPFA. A new goal of mine is to research every clinic and doctors office in my city until I find every abortion provider there is, and then all of them will know that the prolife community isn’t going to stand silent.
The final things I asked the ladies were what they wanted people to know about post abortive women and what they didn’t want to hear us say to them. Many of them said they want us to know they’re hurting. They wish we knew they feel pain that isn’t gone and won’t ever completely disappear. For some abortion led down a dark road and they needed to see the light of God to make things right again. One woman said she wants people to know that they never ‘wanted’ an abortion, it wasn’t something that was celebrated. Multiple women said they wish the prochoice side believed their testimony and would avoid the pain they’ve been warned about.
When it came to what they didn’t want to hear there were really two answers that basically summed it all up, 1-they all deserve to burn in hell or that they are terrible people. And 2- they had a choice because they truly feel there wasn’t a real choice available.
It is obvious the majority of these women felt very pressured and nearly forced into their decision to abort. Not that the pressure negates their responsibility as a mother but it does make what they did understandable. Not acceptable, but understandable.
Overall I am saddened by how little I understood before this project. I admit to being to harsh and generalizing post abortive women as bad people most of the time. Through prayer and the help of these brave women I think I’m seeing the truth that abortion creates even more victims than I knew. I do now truly believe that women who fall victim to abortion are just that, victims.
Victims of an industry who cares about money over health. Victims of the lack of education available to the public on what abortion is and what other options are. They are victims to the lie that they couldn’t do it, that they weren’t good enough or strong enough. I now know that abortion NEVER has less than two victims. I don’t know how to change this cycle of destruction and pain but I am more certain now than ever that my love for women and children alike will drive me to continuing searching for a way to stop the madness.